After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
