i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
