But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
