we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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