i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize