you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
