hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
