watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'd cum for enchiladas.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
