I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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