I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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