I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
