You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
