I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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