He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
