Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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