But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
