I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
