Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
