I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So many bounce houses so little time
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
