this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
my poor anus
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
