Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Boobs are out for the taking
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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