isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
