Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
