Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
