Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
