how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
