you traded sex for a burrito?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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