The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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