His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
