Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
