So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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