fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
