I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
