i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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