bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
