So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
