her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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