He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
