Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize