she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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