so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
where are you?
Hypothermia
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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