You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
