Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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