And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dear god my vagina.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
