Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
