I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
