It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Randomize
