can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
