I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
