Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
