i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
