I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
