just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Randomize
