Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
