My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
