I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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